I've felt it quite a few times already. It's that sensation of my body moving and doing things on its own just because - as if a survival instinct mood is turned on inside me and the only option is to keep pushing and keep going.
And this is it. This is the moment I know I have to take a decision in order to be present again or I will regret it later because I know exactly what it is, and I also know I will end up taking it anyway in the end but having been through a state of mind that's pretty heavy to manage.
Why am I not doing it the moment I realise? Well, because I am scared. And this fear is not other that fear to be mistaken for being selfish. And here it comes the problem. The misunderstanding between selfishness and self-care; when the truth is that there are stark differences between taking from others to make myself feel better and taking care of myself.